The Absurdities of Social Media Jargon

It's a Catch-22. We all us social media. Some hate it - some love it. Regardless, why can't we use simple language? Is communicating like a normal human being passé? There's an endless array of jargon that turns every tweet, post, and story into a cryptic puzzle only the most seasoned digital natives can decode. Let's look into the ridiculousness of social media jargon and have a good laugh at how absurd it all really is. This is where I have to watch myself. With the nature of what social media jargon has become, I need to make sure I don't fall into the trap. I'm sure there will be times where I accidently use the same crap language I'm advocating to eradicate. Other than the examples that I use for reference, I hope I don't allow meaningless jargon into my posts. If any of you spot some useless jargon, please let me know in the comments!

How did the simple pound sign become the cornerstone of social media communication? It’s like we’re all competing in a contest to see who can cram the most nonsense into one post. #Blessed #LivingMyBestLife #Inspo #SelfCareSunday #OOTD (that's "Outfit of the Day" for the uninitiated). Do we really need to tag every single aspect of our lives? So many of the hashtags used seem to reflect just the opposite of what the user is proclaiming. #justwokeup -Really? So you wear all that makeup and fake eyelashes to bed? Bullshit! Most hashtags are used to help categorize posts and aid in searchability and have a useful purpose. But did you know that there are what's called "fake hashtags?" These are actually hashtags that are used to mock hashtags! Fake hashtags such as #ILoveHashtagsSoMuchICouldEatThem and #ThisHashTagIsNotReal throw some humor at the entire concept. Anyone can create a hashtag. Some of them become widely used and repeated. Some of them never get seen again. Some are general, as #art or #nature, while others can be so specific that they become irrelevant, such as #IJustBoughtAChocolateBrownie. Who cares? It's as if adding a hashtag magically makes our boring Tuesday morning coffee more exciting. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.

If there ever is a word that is pure jargon, that was re-born directly from social media, it is influencer. Although the word has origins from the 1600's, it didn't become mainstream until the internet. As for the first so-called social media influencer, there are arguments for Jeffree Star, Melinda Roberts, or Justin Kan. Whether their intentions were to become famous or just to provide useful information, they set the stage for many people to think that just because they like something, they must compel others to do the same. Sadly, rightly or wrongly, many influencers have become wealthy. They’ve brought us gems like "collab," "sponcon" (sponsored content), and "UGC" (user-generated content). "Hey guys, just wanted to jump on here real quick to talk about this amazing brand collab!" No, Karen, you're not jumping anywhere. You’re sitting on your couch in sweatpants hawking teeth-whitening strips. Let's call it what it is: a paid advertisement. So I did a search for the top social media influencers. It's fascinating to me that the top influencers, regardless of platform, are in the genres of fashion and entertainment. Really? Have we become so helpless as a society that we can't put on our own makeup or dress ourselves or choose our own music, based on what WE like, and not what others tell us to like? If I have to rely on some celebrity to tell me how to dress or what to eat, I might as well have my brain removed!

As with all other aspects of current language, social media is rife with acronyms that make texting your mom feel like deciphering the Enigma code. We've got FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), JOMO (Joy of Missing Out), YOLO (You Only Live Once), and TFW (That Feeling When). I know it takes a couple more milliseconds to type the word "Okay" than it does to type "K," but it's become a little ridiculous. After all, time is all we have, so might as well do all we can to save it, right? What’s next, a secret handshake? It’s like we’ve regressed to middle school where we needed secret codes to keep the adults out of our conversations. Spoiler: they still don’t care.

These acronyms are often used humorously to emphasize the often ridiculous and convoluted nature of online slang. They exaggerate the tendency to shorten phrases into acronyms, even when it makes the original message more confusing rather than clearer.

Then there's the jargon surrounding content creation. "Content is king," they say, but only if it’s SEO-friendly, shares high engagement, and includes a call to action (CTA). We now have terms like "micro-influencer," "nano-influencer," and "content pillars." And don’t forget to create a "content calendar" to keep track of all this nonsense. It’s as if being a content creator requires a Ph.D. in bullshit.

On a hypocritical note, yes, I guess I'm creating content, and yes, I'd love for people to read it and maybe get a chuckle or two. Maybe I'll become a "jargon influencer" or something. Of that, I have no control. Your comments and feedback will determine my destiny. I'm just a guy trying to compile my random thoughts and annoyances.

Social media marketers love their buzzwords. We’ve got "growth hacking," "viral loops," "brand storytelling," and "social proof." What does any of this even mean? Growth hacking sounds like something illegal, viral loops make me think of a nasty flu, and social proof sounds like we're all on probation. Brand storytelling? Just tell me why I should buy your product without making it sound like the plot of a convoluted novel.

Oh my - I hope my content is organic enough so that the algorithm provides enough reach to generate proper engagement so my content can go viral! #WhatTheHellDoesThisMean

So there you have it, folks. We can embrace the ridiculousness and laugh at the jargon, so that we can navigate the social media minefield with our sanity intact. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to optimize this post for SEO and schedule it on my content calendar. #CrushingIt #NinjaMoves #SocialMediaGuru

Let's Kill Jargon Together!